I chose to see the Korean flick Dachimawa Lee at the New York Asian Film Festival for two reasons: It looked like a hilarious action-movie spoof that would have me rolling in the aisles, and in the movie they get all their supersecret spy gadgets from, of all places, my home state of New Jersey (I was curious to see if Jersey could really produce anything other than diners, highways, and Mafiosi). Also, actress Kong Hyo-Jin (Crush and Blush, Heaven’s Soldiers, and Taewkwon Girl) is really hot, and she was going to be in attendance. OK, three reasons.

The movie started a little late because Kong Hyo-Jin was delayed by one of New York’s world-famous attractions — its rush-hour traffic. But thanks to an incredibly strategic bathroom break, I was able to witness a limo screech up to the curb and disgorge the actress, her interpreter, and a festival staff member wearing a salmon-colored suit. The reason Kong Hyo-Jin (now out of breath) was making this appearance at all was to answer questions by proxy for writer-director Seung-wan Ryoo (known for City of Violence, Crying Fist, and, get this, a movie with the superb title Urban Martial Arts Action.) The director had originally created the character of Dachimawa Lee several years ago for a short film, but fans became so enamored of his goofy superspy ways that he now has a movie of his own. Although Seung-wan Ryoo’s stated reasons for missing the festival were family matters and the political situation in Korea, his loose-lipped lead actress offered a different explanation: “He was terrified of the American swine flu outbreak.”

It was strange that the Q and A session happened before the screening of the movie and not after, but I and the rest of the audience did glean a couple interesting insights. The whole movie was supposed to be an awkward action comedy, so apparently some shots of actors and stuntmen screwing up were kept in the final cut, to punctuate the humor. As Kong Hyo-Jin explained, “I played a very awkward role, and a lot of that awkwardness was kept in the final cut.”

When Mr. Salmon Suit finally got around to introducing the movie as one of his favorites, his reason was counterintuitive, to say the least. Dachimawa Lee, he proclaimed enthusiastically, is one of the stupidest movies of all time, and as the crowd responded with massive applause, the movie began to roll.

You have no idea how right he was when he called this one of the stupidest movies ever. It is stupid in all the right ways. It is essentially a Korean send-up of modern-day action movies in the superspy genre, a sort of high-flying martial arts version of Austin Powers or Dick Tracy, or hell, even The Naked Gun (the whole movie was saturated with Leslie Nielsen-esque goofiness). Dachimawa Lee, the main character, is essentially the strongest, suavest, and most handsome secret agent Korea has ever seen (and minor characters make it a point to continually remind us of his rugged good looks). He is on the journey of his life in an attempt to get back a golden Buddha statue, inside which are hidden the names of secret Korean operatives. His enemies? A stereotypical Chinese warlord, a flamboyant magician with a purple-and-orange ninja squad, a Japanese military officer with hilariously bad teeth, a mob boss with a Hitler mustache and annoyingly high voice, and, of course, his ex-girlfriend.

Every part of this movie is just 100 percent absurd, and that is what makes it hilarious. Everything that comes out of Lee’s mouth is a dramatic monologue that is meant to tug on your heartstrings in the cheesiest way. Every time a character laughs he does so in a totally forced manner and then stops abruptly in a comical fashion. All the females are masters of martial arts, which allow them to quickly change their clothes into something more seductive. It’s awesome! At one point Dachimawa Lee needs to fly overseas to meet an agent who has acquired the golden Buddha. He is late because his sexy sidekick has gotten her hair caught in his airplane propeller (shown in a hilarious scene of her spinning around while the plane is in motion). As a result, his agent friend is grievously wounded. Lee positions himself above the battered body and cries for him and his apparently imminent death. In the process, a gratuitous and disgusting amount of snot and saliva comes out of Lee’s face, and later it is revealed that his the cause of his agent friend’s death was suffocation due to snot and saliva. Priceless.

The movie is in four different languages (Korean, Chinese, Japanese, and English), but my fear that a lot of the humor would consequently be lost on me turned out to be misplaced, as the actors did their best to make even the language barrier come across as funny. Whenever the actors spoke in Chinese or Japanese, their accents were drawn out to massive stereotypes. When they spoke English (in the scenes where they went to Jersey to pick up special weaponry) they spoke perfect English in an almost ’50s Leave It to Beaver-like saccharine manner. Later in the movie, the villains speak broken English that doesn’t synch up with the subtitles at all, which was obviously done on purpose as a humor device.

It worked. It really really worked. By the time the movie was over I was slouched in my chair, exhausted from laughter. I gave the movie the top rating (at least I think I did; I circled “My Brain Will Never Be The Same”) and walked out of the theater happily. Afterward, I had a chance to talk with fans, and I obviously wasn’t alone in my opinion. “I actually think they were trying to be serious,” one viewer told me. “I mean, I really felt for the female characters when they blocked bullets with the silicone in their breasts.” I also asked if fans would be coming back to the festival, and the answer that stood out the most to me was: “I’d like to, but I can’t imagine a movie more hilarious than Dachimawa Lee right now.”

I wholeheartedly agree, and I urge you to see Dachimawa Lee even if you aren’t a fan of Asian flicks. If you like action, this is going to be right up your alley. There are gratuitous explosions, high-flying fight scenes, massive shootouts, and all of them have you laughing your ass off the whole time. Overall, it was a great way to kick off my NYAFF experience.

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