Eureka 7 — You’ve Never Seen Sky Vaginas Like This!
Before the New York Anime Festival happened this year, I was supposed to play at a release party for Eureka 7: Good Night Sleep Tight Young Lovers the night before the convention. Due to scheduling conflicts this never actually happened, however I did get to see a pre-screening of the movie, which was pretty cool in its own right. Then at NYAF they showed the world premiere of the movie to the massive New York crowd and everyone was enthralled … except for me. I was massively confused.
You see my original pre-screening of the movie was of a Japanese version subtitled in English. The title of this movie was Eureka 7: Pocketful of Rainbows. Once again, the American version of the movie was subtitled Good Night Sleep Tight Young Lovers. I should have taken that gigantic mis-translation as “fair warning” but I ventured forth anyway.
First of all let me tell you that this movie has nothing to do with the Eureka 7 TV series. Sure there are some common links like giant skateboarding robots, but mostly this movie is just all the characters in Eureka 7 in totally different stories doing totally different things. Long story short, an alien species called The Image is attacking earth and fucking shit up. These Image tend to take the form of giant spheres in the sky, hands with tons of eyes on them, and sky fish with vaginas for mouths. I kid you not! Later in the series it is revealed that these Image are actually “mirrors for the human race” and they “reflect what is actually happening”. This prompted the hilarious call out from the audience “what’s really happening is space vagina fish?”
To combat this aquatic genetalia menace, humankind employs the use of giant robots. However, these giant robots aren’t just any giant robots. They are giant robots that grow out of marshmallow faeries! Once again I kid you not! Unfortunately, these faeries grow into poorly constructed giant robots. In one scene the main character is defeated by his opponent literally pushing the off switch on his giant faerie robot, which is this big red button on the outside! Also, even though these giant robots can turn into jets, and have rockets on their feet, half the time they skateboard for no particular reason.
I’m making fun of this movie a lot, and that is just because it asks to be made fun of. Still, if I were going to give a plot run down, some horrible experiment happens in Warsaw … or South Dakota, I’m really not sure which. It causes a lot of people to die and then this girl Eureka is kidnapped. Our main character Renton joins up with the army to fight the image and finds Eureka again who turns out to be an artificial life form built by the image to spy on humanity. Then there is a big coup on the army by another part of the army who all have assumed fake names and are addicted to life extending drugs. They want to reach a “blue planet” or something, which is supposedly some sort of Eden. To do so they are going to hit the world with a gigantic laser to blow up the image, which proves they have poor problem solving skills. Anyway, Renton saves the day … somehow, and he and Eureka who now has long hair and can’t speak get transported to these Eden and their giant robot Nirvash dies… or something.
You know what, sue me, I have no idea what happened in this movie. I watched this movie twice, once in Japanese and once in English and I still don’t know what is going on. I tried very hard to stay with the plot, but everyone around me was laughing and poking fun at how absurd the movie was! All things being said, however, the movie was actually enjoyable. The movie is basically comprised of awesome giant robot fights scenes and lots and lots of exposition. The fight scenes are cool in their own right, and the exposition will have you and your friends laughing your asses off if you have the guts to MST3K the thing. I’m not entirely sure I’d go out and see this in theaters, but if you can snag a copy of it on DVD or download it from a video streaming site, I think you should give it a watch, but only with a large group of friends around. You won’t find any deep and engrossing story, but you will have a rewarding and humorous social experience.
(25 votes, average: 2.80 out of 4)
Post a Comment to Eureka 7 — You’ve Never Seen Sky Vaginas Like This!