February Movies and Trailers — Full Frontal Fantasy & Horror
If you are looking for suspension of disbelief, the February lineup of movies is not going to disappoint. The fantasy and horror lineup for February offers everything from epic wars of the gods to … well … a bunch of spoiled rich kids slowly freezing to death on a ski lift. You may laugh now, but sometimes all you really want to see is a bunch of spoiled rich kids freezing to death on a ski lift. Treat your suspension of disbelief like Groundhog’s Day … the day not the movie. If you can suspend your disbelief long enough to enjoy these movies, then spring is coming. If not, then it will be six more weeks of winter, and you’ll probably want your money back.
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (Releases February 12, 2010)
If you are the sort of person who waited eagerly at the front of the line before every Harry Potter movie … then damn you were wasting your time because Percy Jackson & the Olympians is like Harry Potter injected with a healthy dose of kick-ass! Yes, it is based off of a children’s book and yes, it is light-hearted fantasy, but it still is about sons of gods going to war with their enemies. Normally I wouldn’t look twice at a movie like that, what with my sophisticated “Michael Bay’s Explosions” type tastes in action, but the trailers show this kid bringing a tsunami down on an entire city. . . epic. Any movie where a high school student can wreak havoc the likes of which we have only seen in 2012 is a good movie in my book … unless it’s Dragonball: Evolution.
The Wolfman (Releases February 12, 2010)
Classic horror done with modern technology, what’s not to love? When we say classic we mean classic. This movie retells the story of the original Wolfman, only this time with the help of Benicio Del Toro, and modern CGI technology. Speaking of modern CGI technology, if there is any reason to go see The Wolfman it is that. The transformation sequences previewed in the trailer are like visual crack. We have come a long way from prosthetics and glued-on human hair. Of course, after the CGI sequences, Del Toro also makes gratuitous use of prosthetics and glued-on human hair, just to punch in the old school vibe. More importantly, the recent success of good movies like Underworld and bad movies like Twilight have made werewolves seem like superheroes with sideburns. It’s nice to see some movies still portray them as the horrifying yet awesome beasts they are.
Frozen (Releases February 5th, 2010)
I liked this movie better when it was called Four Assholes Stuck in a Chair Lift, because that is the essential premise of this film. A bunch of spoiled rich kids decide to bribe their way onto a chair lift on a ski mountain even though it has been deemed unsafe to continue skiing. Then, of course, when the ski lift breaks down, they wonder why they are slowly freezing to death. This movie is torture porn of a whole new variety. If you have ever been cut in line, dissed by someone with better equipment than you, or had snow thrown in your face by some sort of pretentious ski asshole from Asspen, then go to this movie and watch him freeze to death. Awesome!
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