Film Franchises in Fast Forward

Share on Facebook posted 01-24-11 by Max Tedaldi

Attention deficit disorder is a real thing that affects millions of moviegoers every year. Not every 3 hour film is able to captivate and enthrall for its entire 180-minute duration. Thankfully a bunch of youtube users know the common plight of the ADD addled moviegoer who wants to watch every amazing action franchise, but finds it unrealistic to sit through hour upon hour of filler. And let’s face it, what movie franchise doesn’t have its share of filler. Below are some of the best action film franchises condensed into portable, disposable little packages. Some of them are only 5 seconds long, while others drag on for an interminable 60 seconds. Either way you’ll get your action fix in less than 5 minutes.

Star Wars

For some reason the grand reveal that Darth Vader is Luke’s father came across as quite anticlimactic in this version. However, the ewoks were much more manageable.

Rocky

Sure, this version forgoes all of the epic montages that made the Rocky franchise such a staple in the sports movie community, but in place of all those montages we get much more of Balboa doing what he does best: Make unintelligible sounds. And he did that oh so well!

Lord of the Rings

They really downplayed Aragorn’s involvement in the trilogy and focused on the homosexual overtones of Sam and Frodo’s relationship in this version of the three films. I mean the guy goes on a perilous journey with his friend and the two don’t try to get any middle earth strange the whole time they are on the road. I mean come on!

The Matrix

You knew that this one was coming. Never before has a singular moment encapsulated the themes and emotion behind a trilogy than this. Now, with the upcoming news that the Wachowski’s have another two movies planned to finish the franchise off right you have to think that they’ll include the infamous line. I mean what is The Matrix without an awed Keanu?

Jaws

Once you saw the shark in the first Jaws film a lot of the magical terror behind the tube of teeth and death was lost. I think because of this I was always surprised that they managed to get so many films out of the “menace of the sea” premise. That being said, anyone who has seen any of the Jaws films has a difficult time swimming in ocean water deeper than 3 feet.