Ah, the motorcycle, more agile than a car yet more dangerous to life and limb than a bike. Why do we love these machines so much? Or more to the point, why do we love to see people fail at riding these machines so much?

1.

First off, let’s note the obvious: Unlike your run-of-the-mill two-wheeler, motorbikes have, well, a motor. This means they go fast, very fast, and of course the faster you go, the worse your crashes. Additionally, motorcycles have the happy perk of being susceptible to horrible motor failure that can cause them, at any moment, to explode and burst into flames. And really, who but a curmudgeon doesn’t love a good fireball?

2.

Now, you may be saying to yourself, “Sure, but cars have motors, too, and can just as easily erupt into flaming balls of crumpled metal.” Well, Self, here’s the deal. The very special thing about motorcycles, at least from the perspective of the carnage enthusiast, is that their drivers are zooming along in the open air, without that reassuring cocoon of steel that cars provide. The only thing holding the rider to the bike is his own hands and feet and his desire to not break his neck. Motorcycle tricks where you let go of the bike are fairly common and, of course, this means that crashes involving a rider getting separated from his bike (oops!) are also common.

3.

Listen to this, Self, motorcycles also have a much steeper learning curve than cars. Turning is not just a matter of adjusting the vehicle’s controls but also of shifting your weight. You can’t just hop onto a motorbike or a dirt bike and start riding. If you do, chances are the bike will make you its bitch. Don’t believe me? Give this homemade How Not To video a look.

4.

Then, of course, there is the problem that even if you are doing everything correctly, the bike can simply go out of control. Cars always have four wheels on the ground, but with bikes it’s all about balance, body control, and center of gravity. If you take a break to scratch your nose, it can literally send your bike screaming off the side of the road in a twisted mass of metal and agony, and there is nothing you can do about it. In fact, even the simplest bike stunt can total both bike and rider.

5.

Finally we have the clincher: Bikes are much, much smaller than cars, so imagine what happens when a bike runs into a car. I can tell you right now, it’s not pretty. Imagine yourself running headfirst into an elephant … at 60 miles per hour, and the elephant is angry and vomiting gas fumes at you. Not a pretty picture. Still, bikes share the road with cars all the same, and as horrible as it may be to say so, the car-and-stunt-bike crash is infinitely amusing. In fact, it’s almost as amusing as it is unfortunate for the poor rider whose wee miscalculation sends him hurtling 30 feet into whatever solid object happens to be available. But hey, it could be worse … he could have been on fire … or he could have run into an elephant … who was also on fire.

Related posts on 30ninjas.com:

• Gas Bike Wipeouts – Motorcycle Runs Into A Car
• Gas Bike Wipeouts – Motors=Fast and Flaming
• Gas Bike Wipeouts – Away He Goes
• Gas Bike Wipeouts – Loss Of Control
• Gas Bike Wipeouts – Steep Learning Curve
• Wheelie Malfunction