It’s All Geek To Me — Martians Killed The Beatles!
Well, okay, it wasn’t really Martians that killed the Beatles, it was more like Mickey Mouse. And motion capture technology. And YOU. Yes you, average entertainment consumer. Your lack of enthusiasm for Mars Needs Moms was the final nail in the coffin for Disney and Robert Zemeckis’ mocap animated remake of Yellow Submarine, the ‘60s acid trip disguised as a cartoon starring John, Paul, George, and Ringo (or their likenesses, anyway), as well as their music.
While the four leads had already been cast, and the rights to the music secured, there were still snags in the production, including some sort of “presentation” to the Beatles’ heirs Zemeckis was supposed to handle that kept getting delayed, and wound up never happening.
Now, I’m a big fan of Yellow Submarine. You might say it’s the Citizen Kane of animated Beatles movies (I suppose you could also say it’s the Ishtar of animated Beatles movies, but that’s neither here nor there). Still, I was surprisingly not offended at the thought of a remake, possibly because the idea was so out of left field I had to respect the ballsiness of it. That, plus the fact that I give a lot of leeway to the man responsible for Back to the Future. I was curious to see what Zemeckis and 21st century technology could do with the story.
The project isn’t completely dead, it’s just not going to be done at Disney. Zemeckis is perfectly capable of bringing it to another studio, though without the Mouse behind him he’ll have some serious regrouping to do. So if it happens at all, it won’t be for a long time. What any of this means for his announced Who Framed Roger Rabbit sequel is unknown.
I’m sure the dismal failure of Mars wasn’t a public mandate against motion capture animation, though I am a little puzzled why it fared as badly as it did. High-profile family movies usually do some business, don’t they? I mean, Gnomeo & Juliet, which makes me cringe to even type, was able to take the number one spot in its third week in theaters, for both God and Pete’s sake. Maybe kids are more repulsed by the uncanny valley than I give them credit for, because no mocap movies have done bonanza box office. While you or I would be more than happy to make $6.9 million in a weekend, for a Disney movie opening, that’s bottom of the barrel. With a $150 million budget, Mars might randomly wind up one of the largest box office bombs in history. 
I don’t have a problem with the idea of motion capture, except maybe as an accessory in the wallet-gouging 3D saturation of our multiplexes. At least it includes a live, physical performance by an actor at some point in the process. I like the false sense of hope it gives me that our digital overlords aren’t yet making humanity obsolete, beginning with the entertainment sector. Mocap is still an integral part of video game development. It’s given us memorable (and almost exclusively Andy Serkis-bolstered) characters like Gollum and the newest King Kong. Steven Spielberg has been singing its praises ever since working on The Adventures of Tintin, which we’ll get to see later this year.
But the technology still has a way to go to reach its potential.
Hated The Polar Express. Hated it. Singing Tom Hanks mannequins and bizarre Nazi imagery still give me nightmares. Was pleasantly surprised by Beowulf. Really dug Monster House. Didn’t see A Christmas Carol, could probably live out my time on Earth and never see any adaptations of the story ever again. And despite the fact that I consider Berkeley Breathed to be a god among men for creating Bloom County, I am one of the vast legion that did not fork over my cash to see the movie adapted from his book, Mars Needs Moms.
Holy crap. I killed the Beatles!
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