Top 10 Most One-Sided Fights
There are two ways to make a fight scene really stand out in the minds of viewers. You can either build the scene up as a battle between two well-matched competitors, each struggling for even an inch of an advantage as they remain deadlocked in a brutal battle for life, or you can have one grossly powerful character beat the crap out of anyone and anything who dares get in his way. This list is about the latter — the art of the one-sided beatdown.
A one-sided fight is one of the best ways to show just how awesome your main character is. However, it’s not easy to pull off. A good one-sided fight makes sure to emphasize the power and skill of the losing combatant, just to further accentuate how much more powerful and skilled the winning combatant is. Good one-sided fights also have to work harder to tell a story through the use of situation and context. If the winning side is too powerful, the fight gets stale and uninteresting; too weak, and the fight ceases to be one-sided. The reasons and motivations behind one-sided fights are put under high scrutiny, and just how the winner triumphs becomes much more important. Considering all of this, the one-sided fight scene is truly a difficult-to-master art form, much more complicated than simply seeing someone get owned in the face.
Of course, on the flip side, it’s cathartic to see someone get the crap totally beaten out of him now and again. Here are some of the finest examples of fighting ownage in movies over the past few years.
10. Wesley vs. His Best Friend (Wanted)
At this point, Wesley’s (James McAvoy’s) girlfriend has been cheating on him with his best friend, who has essentially been doing everything humanly possible to be the most annoying person on the face of the earth. Eventually, enough is enough. Wesley decides to show his interpretation of tech support.
Stuck in a dead-end job you can’t get out of? Frustrated by a relationship you can’t reconcile? Stuck with an annoying friend you can’t stand but still can’t get rid of? This scene is for you.
9. Neo vs. Morpheus (The Matrix)
This famous scene is purposefully one-sided. Neo, played by Keanu Reeves, needs only to hit Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) once to show that he understands how the rules of The Matrix work. Unfortunately for us, he can’t.
8. Good Ash vs. Bad Ash (Army of Darkness)
Army of Darkness is known for stuffing every action and horror movie cliché into one movie, so of course it has a one-sided fight for us to enjoy. At this point in the movie, Ash (Bruce Campbell) has accidentally swallowed a miniature version of himself created from a mirror for … some reason, which then has managed to grow a whole other body like a tumor that then split off from Ash … for some other reason.
Regardless of the lack of explanation, Bad Ash does his best to torment Good Ash, but thanks to Good Ash’s trusty broomstick, that doesn’t last long. This leads up to one of the best quotes of the movie: “Good, Bad, I’m the guy with the gun.” Once again this scene would have been listed higher if it weren’t for the few good hits that Bad Ash got in before the fight ended.
Woah! Hold on a minute!
This fight scene was just too one-sided for Youtube to allow people to see. In fact, when you try to find the video, the message you get is “This video cannot be viewed in your country.” If you are in a country that can view this, please let me know. So I can move there. Consequently, here’s a classic scene from Army of Darkness‘s predecessor, Evil Dead 2, involving Ash and his own hand.
7. Chuck Norris vs. An Entire Bar (Silent Rage)
Any avid user of the Internet can tell you that you don’t screw with Chuck Norris. This is the man whose tears cure cancer, whose beard can bring the dead back to life, and who has counted to infinity … twice! Unfortunately, this entire bar seems to have never heard those Chuck Norris jokes. I guess I can’t blame them, since this seems to take place before the era of life-beards and roundhouse kicks that shatter the sun.
Still, if one-sided fights ever had a poster boy, Chuck Norris would be it. He manages to take down several men much larger than himself, and finally punctuates the scene with knocking someone off a motorcycle with a pool cue, causing him to crash into the ceiling while his motorcycle flies out a window. His cool demeanor after the fight as he leaves the bar in rubble secures this scene a spot as number 7.
6. Bruce Lee vs. An Entire Japanese School (The Chinese Connection/Fist of Fury)
An exemplary demonstration of the Inverse Ninja Law. Bruce Lee shows us that the the smaller the number of ninjas participating in a fight, the stronger they become. In this case, it is the martial arts master himself against oh, say, 30 ninjas (cough, shameless site plug, cough) all rounded up in one dojo. Of course, Bruce Lee shows us that the laws of the universe remain constant, by totally demolishing everyone within a 20-foot radius.
Later, they try to narrow the fight down to one versus one, which while evening the odds slightly does still end in a Bruce Lee triumph. This fine example of Ninja Physics makes this scene an excellent number 6 on our list.
5. Preston vs. … Well, Pretty Much Everyone (Equilibrium)
In the final scenes of this little-known movie, Preston (Christian Bale) manages to overthrow a world government simply through the power of his awesomeness. Sheer one-sided goodness.
4. Apollo Creed vs. Ivan Drago (Rocky 4)
Every Rocky fan remembers this fight. It’s the scene where Apollo Creed gets beaten so hard he actually dies. This was the impetus for all of Rocky 4, and the movie couldn’t have happened without it. In a previous scene, Drago’s representatives said that Apollo, though skilled, could not hope to beat Drago himself, and … yep … they were pretty spot-on. For a villain to win in a one-sided fight scene, he normally has to be fighting someone other than the main character. This one-sided fight not only tugged on the heartstrings of everyone watching, but also instilled a healthy hatred for the villain. This thirst for revenge was what fueled Rocky 4. One-sided fights in which the villain wins are rare, but Rocky 4 pulled it off. Kudos
3. Kirk vs. Gorn (Star Trek)
OK, so this scene may not be strictly action, or even cinema. Nevertheless, it deserves inclusion because Gorn is perhaps the least-formidable creature ever portrayed on-screen. Gorn chases after Captain Kirk so slooowly that Kirk actually has enough time to build a bazooka!!! Gorn chases Kirk, Kirk shoots Gorn, done. The absurdly slow gait of Gorn, the crazy idea that Kirk could build functional artillery on an alien planet, and the fact that the crew of the enterprise watches the whole time without lifting a finger — probably because they were waiting for their popcorn and nachos to come out of the microwave — makes this fight scene a real standout.
2. Jason vs. Julius (Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan)
In a horror movie, trying to fight the horrible thing that is chasing you is precisely the wrong thing to do, and this scene proves it. Jason takes plenty of shots to the face … and backs up … and takes a few more … and backs up … and takes a few more … and backs up. Julius achieves nothing but tire himself out in preparation for getting his head chopped off with a machete.
1. Indiana Jones vs. Swordsman (Raiders of the Lost Ark)
Now this, this is the best, one-sided, fight, ever … no wait … make that evar!!! Amongst the chaos and fervor of the rampaging crowds, Indy (Harrison Ford) finds himself face to face with a skilled swordsman ready to chop his head off and dice his body into small easily displayable pieces he can put on his mantle or bookshelf. The swordsman flourishes his blade, displaying his prowess, and takes a ready stance, at which point … Indy pulls out his gun, nonchalantly shoots him in the chest, and walks away. Never bring a knife to a gunfight.
(25 votes, average: 2.80 out of 4)
