Why Are Men Tennis Pros Such Insufferable Sissies, While the Women Have As Much Toughness and Character As Boxers and MMA Gladiators? Reflections on the Australian Open and WBO Boxing

Share on Facebook posted 01-26-10 by John George

Most nights since Jan. 13, I’ve been falling asleep while watching the Australian Open. I’ve also been waking up to the event, since my TV is usually still on when I rouse myself from my slumber. It helps that both ESPN and the Tennis Channel are broadcasting the event, and most matches are shown twice a day.

Next to mixed martial arts, women’s tennis may be my favorite sport. I find women who play professional tennis to be among the best kind of athletes. There is nothing soft or weak about them — they combine steely nerves with unbelievable stamina.

Women tennis players, as a class, also seem to me to possess a sort of universal beauty. With very few exceptions, there’s something very compelling, attractive and archetypal about them, from the five-foot, six-inch Justine Henin to the six-foot, two-inch Maria Sharapova, and from the primal force that is Serena Williams to the lithe, blonde sprite that is Caroline Wozniacki.

Men tennis players, on the other hand, generally turn me off. I kind of like Lleyton Hewitt for some reason — I haven’t been able to figure out why — and I’ve developed a sort of acceptance of Andy Roddick, but in general I find men professional tennis players to be among the most annoying of athletes. They really rub me the wrong way. They’re like the really neat kid you had to sit next to in elementary school who always had his pencils sharpened and never made a mess with his Elmer’s Glue.

Roger Federer is the prime example. The shape of his insolent upper lip is the stuff nightmares are made of. His flopsy hair is another horrifying attribute, as is the way he continuously caresses it with his fingers during matches. His commercials for watches in which he’s traipsing around in a suit with an open-collared shirt literally make me gag. To me, he’s a big, passive-aggressive sissy. And so are most men pro players.

Tennis is mainly a game of finesse and control. It requires some strength and a tremendous amount of endurance, but it’s really mostly a contest of skill and focus. For me, it’s a game that brings out the best in women athletes. The men who play the game professionally, however, are on the whole somewhat less than masculine. For my money, they’re the biggest sissies in pro sports.

Even the so-called bad boys of tennis are a joke. I would have loved to be a ref during one of John McEnroe’s pissy tirades. I would have crammed his racket right up his posterior.

It was really easy for McEnroe to throw tantrums when he knew that there were no real repercussions in the civilized world of tennis. Sure, he got fined and disqualified now and then, but there were no real consequences, like getting punched in the mouth or kicked in the stomach. I bet he would have thought twice if he knew it meant having to face another man toe to toe instead of over a tennis net.

Which brings me to what this article is really about: the two WBO featherweight boxing matches featured on HBO Saturday night. I took the night off from watching tennis to see four guys step into a ring and slug it out. After ten days of daily tennis watching, I got to thinking about the differences between fighters and tennis players, but more about that a little later. Let me tell you about the fights first.

Yuriarkis Gamboa (17-0, 15 Kos) and Juan Manuel Lopez (28-0, 25 Kos) are two top prospects being marketed by HBO in anticipation of a big fight in which they face each other later on down the line.

Gamboa is a refugee from Communist Cuba who found refuge in Miami. He won an Olympic gold medal in boxing for Cuba, which he later sold so he could provide for his family. He’s a strong, hard-hitting fighter who made short work of his opponent, Rogers Mtagua, on Saturday night.

Gamboa demolished Philadelphia fighter Rogers Mtagua (26-14-2), a native of Tanzania, who almost defeated Lopez in October. Mtagua has a tremendous amount of heart, but he was outmuscled and outclassed by the much faster and more powerful Gamboa. The Cuban knocked the Tanzanian out at 2:35 in the second round. It was a beautiful, dominating performance. And the most moving thing about it was the respect Gamboa showed Mtagua at the end.

Lopez is a tough Puerto Rican fighter with a big heart and a big following in New York. He defeated Mexican-American fighter Steven Luevano (37-2-1), winning the WBO featherweight belt. Luevano is a smart, skilled fighter, but he lacked the tools to deal with Lopez’s arsenal. In fact, it seemed like the only thing Luevano had going for him was his jab. He used it well, but it wasn’t nearly enough to contend with the threat posed by Lopez. The Puerto Rican outpointed Luevano most rounds until finally knocking him out with a series of punches at :44 seconds into the seventh round.

After the fight, both fighters showed great sportsmanship. They hugged and congratulated each other, and Luevano held up Lopez’s hand to symbolize his victory.

I couldn’t help contrasting the difference between the kind of men who are professional fighters and the kind of men who are professional tennis players. They’re really at the opposite spectrum of human sporting competition.

Sure, there is a lot of finesse in the fighting sports, particularly in the “sweet science” of boxing. But in a fight, there is always the potential that finesse and skill will need to be put on the shelf. Then you are left with just your guts and your willingness to take it and to keep dishing it out. It’s about as primal as it gets. Serena Williams would be a tremendous fighter if you put her in a ring or a cage.

Which brings me to my final point: I also like women fighters. I don’t think there’s anything unfeminine or unattractive about women fighters. I respect all willingness to let it all hang out, and give it your all, even when the stakes are as high as they get, which is what makes fighters (men and women) so admirable to me. They’re really a special breed, and I think they deserve to be respected and celebrated. Most of them, anyway. I still want to see Brock Lesnar get his face pounded in.

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10 responses to Why Are Men Tennis Pros Such Insufferable Sissies, While the Women Have As Much Toughness and Character As Boxers and MMA Gladiators? Reflections on the Australian Open and WBO Boxing

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Angelo D'Argenio

You just need to see the world of underground tennis! ….

I meant that as a joke but… actually come to think of it, I’m not kidding.

I saw two guys get into a fight over a tennis match in a local park. 10 minutes later ambulances are being called.

I think when it comes down to it, it is simply easy to be a “celebrity”. Men in the spotlight in any sport have liberties to take it easy, to be pussies so to speak. Women have to work extra hard to be noticed in our profoundly sexist society, which ups my respect for them.

The less popular you are, the less pussified you become, I think its that simple.

Now if you want to see some real brutality, check out underground badminton. I’ve seen those rackets go places I never even knew a man had.

superl33t

Comparing men’s tennis and men’s boxing is like comparing the steak you get at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse with the greasy burger you get from McDonalds. Both are awesome, but you can’t really compare them. Tennis was originally a game of aristocracy and boxing was originally street fighting.

Men’s tennis is also in a lose-lose situation with respect to the power-finesse issue. When the game shifts towards more power and less finesse, like it did in the late 90′s everyone complains that the points are too short and that “brutes” are taking over the sport. Or when strategy, finesse, and endurance are dominating everyone claims that men’s tennis is filled with pussies. Where’s the love?

Raoulski

I admire John George’s MMA chops, and I like reading his take on the fights, but he doesn’t seem to understand that world-class tennis is as grueling as any MMA match–two tennis pugilists at the end of a five-hour, five-set tennis brawl should be respected at least as much as a dumb, bleeding boxer getting his limited brains scrambled. This piece is provocative, but it basically comes down to which hair styles the author likes best. And that he thinks the chicks are hot and Federer’s not (or if he is, he is so in an annoying, un-he-Man way).

superl33t

you also clearly know more about boxing than you do about tennis. Federer is a crazy good athlete who was recruited by the Swiss National Soccer team as well as being tops in tennis when he was a teenager. He also used to be the “badass” of the junior tennis circuit throwing McEnroe-esque tantrums.

superl33t

though i guess his hair is a little fruity

here'sjohnny

Maybe you should get off the couch and face up to a 145mph serve on the court. I think that might give you a bit more respect for male tennis players.

thevoiceofreason

“There is nothing soft or weak about them — they combine steely nerves with unbelievable stamina.”

— Answer me this: if female tennis players have such UNBELIEVABLE stamina why do they only play best of 3 sets instead of 5. They don’t make the marathon shorter for female athletes do they? I mean women have climbed Mount Everest and been up in Space. So what’s stopping them? Tradition? Or is it just laziness?

LEGOcandyWillRise

That’s because the world is proud that women can actually do things. It’s bad enough they can’t drive.

John George

Wow. I seem to have struck a nerve with this one. It should be noted that I never dissed the athleticism of tennis pros. I think playing tennis at a high level requires extraordinary athletic ability and fitness. I don’t argue that Federer, or any of the other members of the current crop of top players, are great athletes. They are tremendous. My diss is based on other factors: social, cultural, attitudinal, aesthetic, etc.

That being said, I’d definitely be interested in exploring the world of underground tennis. It might make for an interesting article.

smithkline

Every one is having his own favourite sport. Some like tennis, some like boxing. I like boxing I am going to
watch pacquiao vs mosley fight with my friends.