Who Is the Best Action Hero? Pick Your Team: Pitt vs. Downey vs. Worthington vs. Harrelson vs. Statham

Share on Facebook posted 02-02-10 by 30 Ninjas Staff

The Nominations For The “Get to De Choppa!” Award for Best Action Hero
As you know, we're running the 30 Ninjas Movie Awards this month and today the staff of 30 Ninjas is duking it out on who was the best action hero and actor in 2009, so that's why you'll see the name of the staff member after each actor. Let us know who you think should win in the comments section and at the end of the month we'll announce the winner!

Brad Pitt as Aldo Raine, Inglorious Basterds

What is more bad-ass than a film dedicated to the extermination of the group responsible for millions of innocent deaths in Europe? An actor responsible for the extermination of that group. Not only was Inglorious Bastards named on the top of Tarantino’s features list, but it starred a mission-driven, passionate soldier with one thing and one thing only in mind: killing Nazis. Brad Pitt’s performance in Inglorious Bastards was riveting, explosive, and made you enjoy the act of ridding the world of evil. His chemistry with the camera was awe-inspiring while truly capturing the perfect mixture of reality and fantasy to bring viewers a final product we are all familiar with: hard-hitting action. – Brian Caruso

Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes

Come On! A action actor who can act! Jesus people this should be no contest. He pulled off one of the smartest and most flawed detectives in literature and did so with apparent ease and grace. No one can match Downey’s ability to both throw a punch and deliver a punch line and his Holmes, an obsessed, substance abusing (he was drinking everything in sight) odd-ball was charming enough to carry a pretty silly action romp. But the thing that really does it for me is Downey’s wing chun fighting abilities. His skill makes the fight scenes realistic and impressive. The combination of his martial arts and his intelligence makes him the ruling action hero and the guy I want on my side. – Julina Tatlock

Jason Statham as Chev Chelios, Crank

Fuck you. No, that’s it. Fuck you if you think that there is anyone cooler than Chev Chelios. Chev Chelios survived a drop from a helicopter by bouncing off of a wrecked car and landing face first on the pavement. Chev Chelios survived being injected with a lethal toxin and having his heart removed, both by kicking ass and having sex! Chev Chelios climbed to the top of a telephone pole, grabbed onto power lines, lit himself on fire, beat all the bad guys to death, and then flipped off the audience because you assholes are too stupid to realize that Chev Chelios is the coolest damn person in existence. Chev Chelios once brutally injured Chuck Norris with only his nipples! Chev Chelios’s cannonballs create Tsunamis! Chev Chelios is independent of time itself! So you know who the best action hero is? Chev Chelios, because, if you think otherwise, Chev Chelios is going to hunt you down and beat you to death with his crotch, while on fire. Oh yeah, and Jason Statham did a good job portraying him too … we guess … ON FIRE!!! – Angelo D’Argenio

Sam Worthington as Jake Sully, Avatar

James Cameron has described Sam Worthington as, “an old-school tough guy” and that is exactly who Jake Sully is in Avatar. Sully, who begins the movie as the crippled brother of an interstellar superstar finishes in what can only be described as the most heroic comeback of all-time. Sully tames a mountain banshee, conquers the legendary Toruk, and is given the name “Rider of the Last Shadow” (sickest name ever?!). He saves an alien race, bangs the alien princess and becomes their leader. Is there anyone in their right mind who doesn’t consider this the most epic, ridiculous, ill-matic achievement of the year? If there is he’s probably the same person who loved Dragonball Evolution. – Luke Tedaldi

Woody Harrelson as Tallahassee, Zombieland

Along with Shaun of the Dead, Re-Animator and Dead Alive, Zombieland ranks as one of my favorite horror comedies. What makes this film so sweet is the contrast between its two main characters. Columbus, played with angsty sheepishness by Jesse Eisenberg, survives the zombie apocalypse by adhering to a strict set of rules that allow him to avoid any and all contact with his brain munching neighbors. Tallahassee, played with violent bombast by Woody Harrelson, doesn’t only survive a world infested with zombies he basks in the glory of it. Tallahassee relishes every last laceration, savors every zombie dismemberment, and cherishes all the gruesome slaughtering the end of the world has to offer. In a world where everyone is running and hiding from sleepwalking abominations he is in the ass-kicking business, and business is good. How could any action hero compete with a guy who ditches his shotgun to take on the baddest, meanest zombie in the supermarket with a pair of garden shears? Quote: “It’s time to nut up, or shut up.” – Max Tedaldi