Who Is the Best Sidekick? Pick Your Team: Eisenberg VS Law VS Quinto VS Roth VS Worthington
The Nominations For The “Holy Minor Role Batman!” Award for Best Side-Kick
As you know, we're running the 30 Ninjas Movie Awards this month and today the staff of 30 Ninjas is duking it out on who was the top side kick and supporting actor in 2009, so that's why you'll see the name of the staff member after each actor. Let us know who you think should win in the comments section and at the end of the month we'll announce the winner!
Jesse Eisenberg as Columbus Zombieland
Columbus may not be a robot or a vulcan or a jew, but he has one thing that the rest of our candidates simply do not have, the foresight to survive a zombie apocalypse. Where would the rest of our sidekicks be in a zombie apocalypse? Spock would get his brain eaten right away. Marcus Wright would have his human heart chomped out of his metal chest. Watson would have his brains devored alongside a nice cup of tea. Donny Donowitz … well Donowitz would probably smack in some zombie heads with a baseball bat, which would save him temporarily, but my guess is he would simply be overrun as time went by. Columbus has rules he follows, stay clean, keep your eyes on the road, shoot every corpse in the head twice just to be sure. That’s planning man. Also, his rules basically made the framework for the entirety of Zombieland. No rules, no funny interaction with Woody Harrleson. No funny interaction with Woody Harrleson, no meeting two hot chicks. No meeting two hot chicks, no love story. No love story, no plot. Is any of this getting through to you, or have you just been eaten by a zombie in the time it took to read this article? – Angelo D’Argenio
Jude Law as Dr. John Watson Sherlock Holmes
As dusk turns to night, the criminals of London emerge with malicious intent while the fictional, yet action-packed, crime-solving duo Sherlock Holmes and his dear John Watson are on their tail the whole evening. This infamous couple could not be picked out of a lineup without the other, and Mr. Holmes would surly not be able to solve even half of his crimes without having his beloved sidekick Watson by his side. In the 2009′s Sherlock Holmes, Jude Law fully portrays the brilliance and intelligence that John Watson brings to each crime while completely lacking in Holmes’ deductive methods. Law embraces the camera with his bona fide British accent and complements every explosion, fight scene, and suspenseful moment with his charming wit. Sidekicks are in films to protect, rescue, disagree, fight for, alienate, save, and humor their right-hand partner. Jude pulls it off with flying colors. – Brian Caruso
Zachary Quinto as Spock Star Trek
Spock is the greatest sidekick of all time, not just this year, and Quinto’s confident, impeccable portrayal of this legendary character deserves every honor. How do you not give an award to the character who is his own sidekick? Don’t know what I mean? The dueling sides of Spock’s character (the emotional, passionate human side and the cerebral, intellectual Vulcan strain) battle for supremacy throughout the movie giving Spock two characters in one: action hero and intellectual sidekick (or is it action hero and his passionate sidekick?)
In all seriousness though, Quinto’s Spock has the strength to carry most of the movie on his own. Abrams’ Star Trek was more of a buddy or dual hero movie than the classic Hero/Sidekick structure. Quinto — through the destruction of Vulcan, losing his mother and ultimately accepting, trusting and embracing Kirk as his closest friend — takes Spock on a bigger character arc than Pine’s Kirk. It was Quinto’s acting ability and versatility as an actor that pulled this off. He’s the best sidekick of the year. – Julina Tatlock
Eli Roth as Sgt. Donny Donowitz Inglorious Basterds
If I could have any nickname it would, without a doubt, be “Bear Jew”. Is it not the most powerful burly, nickname ever fashioned? Sergeant Donny Donowitz is an Inglorious Basterd and he is fearsomely known in Nazi circles as the “Bear Jew” because of his beefcake physique and penchant for bashing in Nazi brains with a baseball bat. The only thing the Bear Jew likes more than “Teddy Fuckin’ Ballgame” is making his Nazi enemies tremble in fear at the very thought of a monstrous Jewish golem of a man seeking bloody vengeance. He’s big, he’s angry, he’s Jewish and he’s got a baseball bat. I’m also pretty sure that he is blind with furious Semitic insanity. Who in the world would you rather have backing you up? There is something very visceral about clubbing your enemies to death with a bat, and The Bear Jew makes you taste the squishy and brainy fruits of his labor. He may have a small role in the film, but you can’t take your eyes off the screen when he’s on it. – Max Tedaldi
Sam Worthington as Marcus Wright Terminator Salvation
He’s the tin man who got his wish. Sam Worthington played Marcus Wright the machine with a human heart in Terminator Salvation, and brought the horror element of the movie to a place previously unoccupied in the Terminator franchise. Watching Marcus writhe and scream in agony as he is forced to confront his cyborg body is not only chilling but also the most emotional scene in a movie probably most well-known for its emotional outbursts offscreen. Also . . . the dude went head to head with a fresh off the rack Arnold Schwarzeneggered T-101. Who does that?! Insanely cool. So cool, his nickname should be Kelvin. Although if I had to pick one way to die it would probably be at the hands of a T-101, at least then I wouldn’t have to listen to Christian Bale’s rants. – Luke Tedaldi
(25 votes, average: 2.80 out of 4)
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