Who Steals a Boat?
One of my favorite types of movie scenes is the chase scene, and one of my favorite types of chase scenes is the boat chase scene. It breaks the mold and really manages to put characters in hairy situations they wouldn’t otherwise have to deal with. However, the conditions leading up to a boat chase on film are often pretty fantastical. Sometimes a bad guy takes a speeder into the ocean while smuggling dangerous chemicals. Other times dangerous criminals try to escape via the sea. To me, these sorts of scenarios just seemed like cinematic contrivances, and I personally didn’t think boat chases really happened here in the real world. Well … I guess I was wrong. Turns out there are enterprising nut jobs out there who think it’s a good idea to steal boats, and our law enforcement agencies take them down all the time. Here are some particularly amusing examples.
Mayhem With a Beard
What started out as a simple protest ended up being one of the ballsiest chase scenes I’ve ever seen. Here is a bit of back story. During the G8 summit, a boat helmed by members of Greenpeace enters off-limits waters. Police boats then try to round them up and remove them from the restricted area. All predictable enough so far, right? Sure, but who would’ve expected Greenpeace to run?! Sweet! Environmentally correct mayhem on the high seas! The boat chase goes on for a good three minutes of twists, turns, and general aquatic evasion. That’s more than some movie scenes can claim. Note that the thrasher-metal guitar music wasn’t actually playing at the G8 summit but was added later for dramatic effect. Still, Greenpeace sure does have brass ones!
High Seas Drug Bust
How do you make a boat chase even cooler? Add a helicopter! These drug smugglers were detected before they even made land, and the result was the Coast Guard opening fire on the speedboat. Helicopter fire (yes, you heard right, helicopter fire) ended up disabling the boat’s engine and eventually getting all of the suspects off. Then, for some reason, they light the boat on fire and shoot at it some more, just for the hell of it? I have no idea what goes through the minds of the Coast Guard, but I’m certainly not complaining — flaming sinking boats are awesome. The second chase shows a nighttime drug bust, which isn’t quite as dramatic, mostly because it was a simple catch and wrap up … and also because it was weed instead of cocaine, which is much less intoxicating … exciting, I meant to say exciting.
A High-Speed Boat Chase?
I … guess this counts? After all, the police are chasing a stolen boat, at high speeds. So the question is: Who steals a truck with a boat attached? These geniuses do. Then they lose their boat halfway through and are quickly caught after the driver crashes into the embankment alongside the road. Still, I want to know what the heck happened to that boat. It came off when the suspect made a hard turn after crossing the railroad tracks, and it must have rocketed away as if it had been fired from a slingshot. Maybe the boat chase even continued long after the suspect was caught. We can only imagine. Hey, wait, that’s the next Bond Boat Chase I want to see: James Bond, in a spy truck, pulling a spy boat he swiped from a trailer park … priceless.
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