Would Hollywood Really Make Another Doom Movie?
Do you remember the original movie that came out in 2005? You do? Geez how do you sleep at night.
Famous for being indescribably bad, the original Doom took everything that was horrible about the Doom video game, combined it with everything that is horrible about Hollywood action movies, and just to be sure that the end product was a shitty as it possibly could be, it threw in Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson for good measure. Ugggh, I’m getting sick just thinking about it.
Well six years have passed and the fans of first person shooters and big Hollywood action flicks have drank enough booze to erase that horrible memory from their brains. Unfortunately, though this comes with a tremendous amount of relief, it also means we forgot all the mistakes we made. So it was only a matter of time before some dumbass said, “hey, you know what would be an awesome idea? A Doom movie!” and thus we tread down this path of misery all over again.
Universal Pictures is the culprit here. They are rumored to be moving forward with another Doom flick against the wishes of every single person in every single fandom on Earth! According to What’s Playing, the flick is currently in early stages of development. Step one? Totally ignore the 2005 movie. Horray! In fact, the site quotes the new Doom movie as “a reboot – one that entirely skips over the events of the insipid 2005 film.”
Putting our cries of relief and joy aside, the movie is still a baby. It doesn’t have a screenwriter or a director yet, but considering that we live in a world of technology, it has already been decided that the movie will be in 3D. Leave it to Hollywood to decide whether or not a movie will be stereoscopic before its plot is even written. Universal is currently script scouting for the movie, and is looking specifically to pick up one that meshes with an eventual 3D showing.
So here is our question to you? How do you make a Doom movie good? Doom really didn’t have the best story in the world. In fact, the only reason why Doom was such a great game, was because its gameplay was really well done. It was one of the first successful first person shooters. You can’t really express that in a movie. The 2005 release tried, and failed. Here’s a hint: movies don’t need god modes!
Will the film be a success? Will it even get made? Who knows!? All we know is that there hasn’t been a good video game movie in a while, and frankly we don’t think that Doom is going to be the one to break that pattern. Sorry Universal. Maybe you can get Guillermo del Toro to direct this. We heard you recently canned At the Mountains of Madness. I’m sure he would love to direct Doom instead.
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