Now playing: Why Would They Ever Make Hannah Montana?

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I actually like most Disney films, but can I just tell you how much I hate Hannah Montana? I’m pretty much a kid at heart, so whenever we see another Ice Age, or a remake of Aladdin, I’m right there, but something about Hannah Montana (along with her partner in crime, High School Musical) makes me want to go down to Disney World and drench the Magic Kingdom with napalm. Maybe it’s the fact that she has an absolutely needless Superman complex, in that on stage, she is blonde and thus a superstar, but in her normal life she is brunette and thus just a mild-mannered kid (who nobody can recognize via facial features or other obvious distinguishing characteristics). Or maybe it’s simply her buck teeth and the fact that she is related in any way shape or form to Billy Ray Cyrus (way to stomp on the name of a good singer!) that makes me want to stab her with her microphone. Now she has a movie deal! Great… someone kill me now before she starts singing “best of both worlds,” a tune about, yes, having a secret identity!

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